Hot in the City

I read this article on I-S magazine and it's hilarious, especially for the foreign nuts.

National Spirit
I-S Issue 316
The less talked-about traits that make us uniquely Singapore.
By Aimee Chan

We all know the stereotype of a Singaporean— disciplined, efficient, affluent, well-organized, logical, if a little bit kiasu, citizen of the world. How judgmental and clichéd—and wrong. We’re much more complex than that! We did some navel gazing and uncovered these other less publicized traits that make us quintessentially Singaporean.

Money Money Money
Money is no laughing matter in Singapore. We are known as a nation that loves to shop, but little do outsiders realize that the purpose of our national pastime is not to spend money, but to save it. We love to shop...for bargains.

We’re very generous in our spending habits too—we truly relish telling each other which fruit stall sells the cheaper papaya and we enjoy scandalizing our colleagues with the news that the nasi lemak lady down the road has raised her prices by 10 cents. Even our thieves are thrifty—in Punggol recently robbers broke in and stole, among other things, newspapers from a store. But all this is definitely paying off. We’re spending so much money our economy’s going gang-busters (except for when we go over the Causeway to save 55 cents on a kilo of sugar). After all, all those 10 cents saved on lunch soon add up to new Mercs and BMWs on the roads.

Being a country of tight wads has many benefits. For instance, whenever you buy something these days, it always comes with a freebie. Such as when buying a Canon digital camera, you get a free air purifier. Or buying a meal at KFC gets you a free bottle of shampoo. Our love of the freebie is so great that even the black market is doing something to address it. To encourage punters to bet during the World Cup illegal bookies were offering free luxury watches and free holidays.

And then there are the door prizes we turn up in droves for. Heaven forbid wasting time at functions and getting nothing in return—at least with goodie bags you might walk away with a voucher of some sort. It gives new Singaporean meaning to “paying it forward.”

The Wanderer
We might have a reputation for being extremely efficient, but it’s really more in our nature to take things slow and steady. Like the tortoise racing the hare, Singaporeans typically start things off slow with some procrastination before a sprint to the finish line. And we always prefer staying out late to getting up early. We truly love our night-owl lifestyle; no pre-dawn work hours for us, thanks. All the shops are open well past 5pm and no matter how late we’re partying, there’s always time to stop for supper somewhere afterwards. We’re not lazy, it’s just that patience is a virtue...and it’s too hot to hurry. Whether it’s a stage performance,

"WE’RE REALLY GOOD AT STOPPING TO TAKE STOCK THOUGH IT’S USUALLY AT THE TOP OF AN ESCALATOR, IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SIDE WALK, OR IN THE DOORWAY OF THE MRT."

a dinner reservation or even a meeting with the boss, there’s nothing like delaying something to really savor it and make it more pleasurable. Wasn’t the Coldplay concert so much better because it started an hour late?

We’re not just an island of efficient automatons where, in the words of Hong Kong Chief Executive Donald Tsang on his recent trip here, things are “no sooner said than done.” We’re really good at stopping to take stock, though it’s usually at the top of an escalator, in the middle of the sidewalk, or in the doorway of the MRT. It’s just not our way to rush to meet deadlines or appointments. Instead, we wander aimlessly through life, our careers, along the streets and through shopping centers soaking it all up, taking it all in and (maybe) enjoying life.

Bitch Bitch Bitch
As Senior Minister Goh Chok Tong once said, we are a nation of moaners. The government might think we’re not speaking English well enough for their high standards, but there’s really nothing wrong with our ability to communicate, at least when it comes to complaining.

The newspaper letter pages are full of it. No matter how many great new services, facilities or products come our way, nothing is ever good enough. Take, for instance, the opening of the Budget Terminal —the first of its kind in Asia and one that is in perfect sync with its purpose. But many people missed the point and focused on the fact that they had to walk to the tarmac (!) and might get wet along the way (!!). Then there are complaints that the expansion of the MRT is not happening fast enough while the termination of bus services is happening too fast. Even with the constant upgrading in virtually every aspect our of lives, it seems we are a difficult crowd to please.

In the recent New Economics Foundation Happy Planet Index, a measure of people’s wellbeing, we rated the lowest of all the ASEAN countries. But there is a flipside to this statistic. We still rated 131 out of 178 countries which was better than 47 others, including Rwanda, Kuwait and Sierra Leone. Dr Seet Ai Mee, former acting minister for community development, recently commented that “We would be a much happier and healthier society if we counted our blessings more often.” Enough said.

Becoming Engaged
Despite being known as a proactive and progressive society, we seem to need a lot of instruction manuals to remind us how to do things. Imagine how rude we’d all be to one another if there wasn’t a national campaign to teach us how to be considerate to others. How would we know which carparking spots were full in the carparks if there weren’t lights above them to indicate they are full? Cabbies, please make sure you don’t stink when you get in the car during Singapore 2006, says the Work Development Authority. And those muscles around your mouth? Please use those for smiling more and complaining less.

Lucky there’s always someone around to help us through these day-to-day problems, or we’d be lost. Just ask Willy Sng, who signed a contract that arrived in the mail thinking it was a verification of the details for his free listing in the Yellow Pages. Instead, Sng found himself owing Singapore Business Pages $9,000 all because he didn’t read the document he signed. Maybe we need a new campaign to remind unsuspecting people that they actually have to think (for themselves) before they act. Swerve suddenly across several lanes of traffic and (shock! horror!) you might cause an accident.

Singapore is actually an island full of citizens wanting to contribute and engage. We’re such enthusiastic participators that the silence from the audience throughout this year’s Melbourne Comedy Festival Roadshow opening performance was deafening. And a recent youth forum organized by the Ministry of Community Development, Youth and Sports to encourage students to interact and raise issues with Members of Parliament attracted several students who wanted answers to their questions on pressing and important issues such as the positioning of traffic lights near their homes. It’s heartening to see the rise of another generation of politically-aware individuals.

Political and social activity is just a matter of perspective. Who says we’re not using our education to our full potential? We read the newspapers (even if it’s only to read the letters to the editor and the sports pages), we like to talk about current affairs (like who is going to get voted off Singapore Idol this week), and we’re aware of what’s happening on the world stage (who would have thought Miss Japan

"…OF 61 FIRMS, 77 PERCENT FOUND THEIR EMPLOYEES TO BE HARDWORKING BUT ONLY 20 PERCENT SAID THEY WERE CREATIVE."

would come runner-up in the Miss Universe competition?). See, we know what’s going on. (Now, if only we could get a pic of TomKat’s baby.)

Penned In
For such a small country, we’re incredibly creative. Want to instill more culture into Orchard Road to attract the tourists? Build more shops. Genius. In fact, we are so excited by our own abilities that we’re often running round and round in circles without actually achieving very much. Like a chicken with its head cut off we all know how to talk a lot of cock, but finding a way to convert this into logical solutions is like finding hen’s teeth. For instance: “I’d like to order the salad, but without the tomato.” Cannot. “I’d like to pay half cash and the rest on credit card.” Cannot. Cannot seems to be our favorite word. Obviously not enough parents are reading their children the story of the Little Engine That Could. You know, the story of the little engine that pulls a long train of freight cars up a hill using will power and the mantra “I think I can, I think I can.” All it would take is these four little words to change the entire service industry. The customer doesn’t want cockles in their char kway teow? I think I can. Customer wants to more information on the product they’re thinking of buying? I think I can.

Just imagine how this could revolutionize the entire way we do things. Because of one children’s story our whole way of life could change. Wouldn’t life be easier if the Bukit Batok Driving Centre would accept cash? Wouldn’t it be more convenient if Top Shop at Suntec would allow you to pay for men’s and women’s clothes at the same counter? And what about if, instead of creating something that looks suspiciously like the London Eye, we came up with our own viewing platform attraction that we had, ahem, thought of ourselves?

Alas, it seems we have a long way to go before such bursts of inventiveness become the norm. We’re determined not to have it—how dare the Singapore Tourism Board show initiative and humor by putting shades on the Merlion? The recent Singapore Workforce Survey 2006 released by the Singapore Human Resources Institute found that of 61 firms, 77 percent found their employees to be hardworking but only 20 percent said they were creative. Able to think outside the box? Cannot.

I asked my coworker who shops at Top Shop at Suntec and she said it's true about the different cash registers. LOL! and also the other day, while I was reading Today newspaper, I was just thinking to myself that 'Man, this paper is full of forums pages about people upset about anything under the sun.' Some of the topics included 'It is wrong to sell NPD tickets on ebay'. Who cares! Another topic was 'Cyclists should cycle single-file on the road'. Then someone wrote back to say 'No, cyclists should cycle in a pair.' Of course, there were numerous articles on 'How to eradicate cab woes' And I dont' get why they always have reviews of things that have passed eg the Coldplay concert. Why would I care if there's only 1 show and it's over? And of course, they'd interview the Singapore Idol rejects or the Project Runway rejects. I close my case. As for the customer service, I've said enough.